Why so Serious....??

Of late I have realized that I have become very Serious. And by that I mean generally serious...like occasionally moody or kind of gloomy too sometimes. I do laugh when I see the Big Bang Theory or something else but that's about it. Not even a bit more. Not even while talking to my parents. I do not know what triggered this mode in me, but it made me think whether I was moody and gloomy all my life and was of the general opinion that I was kind of a dull guy. Whatever be the case, I am really happy with the kind of mind set I am now. I am over my past. Have learnt a few valuable lessons about life and love, especially about love. And now, I am enjoying my solitude so much that I hardly feel lonely. Hence I promise to myself that I will start enjoying life once again. I will enjoy doing the things I love doing once again. Serious is the new me and I am loving it :)

I had not thought that I'd become,
                    A guy so lost in his past,
That even when life came calling,
                I was the one to know last.

But finally I caught up on time lost,
                       Swam up against the tide.
I lost everything that was of mine,
                    But am loving the lonely ride.

The Eighth Color in the Rainbow.

Its time I let everyone know about this blog and made it public. Though many blog about their experiences and many about other things, I Blog or rather post my random thoughts and Poetry (if these can be called that) on my blog-site. It used to be my Sanctum Sanctorum or Fortress of Solitude if you will, as I post my about my love for my sweetheart here. But of late, since no one else is viable to the title of being the love of my life, I thought of sharing this to the whole world. I apologize to my many friends who used to ask me to write for them, or simply borrowed these verses to impress their love interests of that moment (You know who you are :P), as this goes against their wishes. I re-iterate that while some of the poems are my own, there are some which have been sourced across the web. If at all you are the Author of the original verse, please contact me on email, so that I can associate the post in question with your name or remove it if you find it objectionable.

I shall try to post at frequent intervals, though my previous record states otherwise, and keep writing and collecting good poetry and re-posting them for everyone to enjoy.

Adios.

Sudhakar

Another Year passed, and here I am, back to where it all started. I always used to write for others, but now, I just am writing this for myself for a change. I like it, and I hope that some of you like it too. Do leave your valuable feedback, if at all you do feel that something does not feel Right. As always, I am still learning.

A Requiem to my other self !!

I was standing at the window,

Just staring into nothing.

As my mind wandered into the darkness of my life,

And into thoughts that used to mean something.

Things that were so beautiful before,

Never did they look the same.

I had lost touch with my humanity,

I had lost my smile and my name.

I thought about all that i have been through,

All those things which caused me pain.

And those days of sadness and sorrow,

I did not want to live through again.

I realized that it was time to move on,

Thinking about the past was vain,

I got up from the chair at the window,

And walked towards my life again.

Hey Ppl, Its almost been an year now since my last post. One thing i wanted to share with all you guys is that, if at all you go through all my poems, you might see a trend emerge. A trend which indicates my life. Now at this stage, i can see that i have grown up since that first little scribble of a limerick i had written on my classroom bench about my English Teacher's Pointed Nose....lolz. (Shall share that with you sometime later.) But now, this is the story of my life.

Life has been simple,

Way too simple i should say.

I live like others wish to,

Others i passed along the way.

I wake up every morning,

See my face everyday.

I go through the whole day,

Putting on a mask of Clay.

One day i saw myself in the mirror,

And i thought of who I had become.

Living my life as a drone,

All my feelings gone Numb.

I saw it in my eyes,

The desire to break free.

I didnt go to work that day,

Wondering what was wrong with me.

I just lay on the bed,

Thinking of my life and what all I had done.

I began to loathe my life so much,

I wanted to leave it and run.

I saw my younger days flash by,

I looked at my foolish ways.

I remembered the confidence i had,

I remembered the good ol' days.

I now saw what i had become.

A drone who does what he is asked to do.

I wanted to obey my heart again.

Not some idiot who controlled me with Voodoo.

I got up and got going right then,

towards the path of being Awesome.

I knew that it was going to be difficult,

and that the path, very lonesome.

Someday, I will be back.

Someday, I will be Awesome.

Someday, I will.

Sad Poems courtesy.....Google....

That girl I saw
Not long before
Has left me now
But how long for?
Her eyes are mine
Her smile too
But where'd she go
And what to do?
Her shadow covers
Over me
I just wish
That I could see
Why she's gone
And left me here
Without a thought
Without a care

Sad Poems week!!! Some poor sod has written this..... Really heart touching...

Why do you act like you don't care?
When deep down inside your a mess when I'm not there.
Why are you letting something hold you back?
When you know I'm trying to keep everything in tact.
Why do you front when you’re around your friends?
When everything your saying or doing is make believe or pretend.

HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m done asking WHY if you can’t tell me NOW well then I guess this is GOODBYE.

Another one of my Sad Poems collection. I feel so sad now that i dont feel like dedicating it someone special...Dedicated to everyone out there....

My heart is broken
i feel out of place
words left unspoken
to feel and empty space.

our love i thought we had
has slowly grown apart
and now that your gone
i have to find the start.

it ended so fast but
it caused so much pain
so much i've lost
it's hard to regain.

i thought you loved me
now why did it end
cause you had to say
lets just be good friends.

you say you'll always love me
this the hardest thing to hear
thought when i'm by myself
i wish i could dissapear.

you don't know what i'm going through
to heal a broken heart
there is nothing you can do.

so i'll cry these tears
maybe let out a scream
but you need to know now
this is the real thing.

Sad Poems week....!!! I dont know what happened to me ppl. Just enjoy these poems. (But truly they arent meant for enjoying. Feel the Pain wud be the word) Dedicated to my jaan as no one really asked me for this.

Funny when things never change
Even when you say they will
But while your off seeing him
My life is standing still

You tell me that you love me
When I go to leave
You tell me I'm your only one
And I let myself believe

I know that you are using me
But you'll never let me go
I know that you don't love me
I know I'm just for show

I don't know If I can stand
To see you love another guy
You know that you broke my heart
You know that your my world

But while your standing by my side
I'll believe your lies forever
Cause everything seems so perfect
When we are together

I was asked to write poems for those Devdas's there who have been cheated upon by their GFs. These two poems are dedicated to all of them. May those bitches rot in hell.

You used to make me swear never to leave you;
Now you're gone and will not tell me why.
I cannot guess what I have done to grieve you,
But if I have so much, then let it die.
What makes a love like ours blow away
Like a piece of paper in a gusty wind?
What makes it so impossible to stay?
What words or gestures might I now rescind?
Just as your love was once a mystery,
So now your bitterness I cannot grasp:
As if I touched your temples tenderly
And felt the twisted sinews of an asp.
Alone I face the cold, cold things you do;
I need your love to help me deal with you

Dear Friends, this is for all those lovers who have been cheated upon. Ditched by those pleasure seeking, energy sapping, blood sucking vampires of girl friends, who cheat upon their boy friends. This is for those guys who dedicated their lives for some stupid girl, who never even understood the meaning of love.

I guess you just don't know how much it hurts.
I cannot think you know and just don't care.
Destiny provides one's just deserts
By turning out one just as would be fair.
Just as a child learns to its delight
That lying sets one fabulously free,
So you say "love" to get the rapture right,
Getting so the most you can from me.
And then, of course, you tire of your pleasure,
As those who seek but pleasure often do,
And sacrifice by far the greater treasure
Upon the altar where you worship you.
Justice would demand you be the fool,
But you are far more ignorant than cruel.

Well my friends,

All good things do not stay that way...this is how i feel now. Hope my Jaan reads this and understands

I feel as though my heart lay bleeding
On a countertop.
The pain is like a flooded scream
That cannot, will not stop.

I cannot live, I cannot breathe;
Pain is all I do.
I cannot think how I can be
Long living without you.

Ah, God! I want you back so bad
That I would gladly die
To hold you in my arms again
And not care how or why;

To hold you in my arms again
And tell you of my love,
And then go gladly back to dust
Should I your heart not move.

After a long long time... i am back!!

Found this poem on a website. Written by a maestro named Runal Jagtap, (i think). Its so good that it perfectly echoes with my love for my jaan. So here it is...

I love you jaan................!

Thee hum kab se kareeb lekin pehchan na sake..
Dekha hoga apko kayi baar lekin kuch jaan na sake..
Kya pata tha aa jayenge yun itne kareeb..
Ho jayega pyaar humein.. jise kabhi maan na sake..

Nahin socha tha aisa pal aa jayega..
Ik lamha bhi unke bina yun satayega..
Sochte the ajtak kyun padte hai log pyaar mein..
Kya pata tha koi is kadr deewana kar jayega..

Kyun hota hai pyaar yeh hai kisne jana..
Kaise ban jata hai koi kisi ka deewana..
Koi hum se aake puche to batau..
Mere pyaar se jake milo..
Na ho jaye to aake bataana..

Jab door hote ho to har jagah nazar aate ho..
Paas hote ho to nazare churate ho..
Roz to milte hai yaar tumse..
Phir bhi kyun itna yaad aate ho..

Samjhaate the dosto ko pyaar ki raah mein kuch na milega..
Socha hi nahin ki humein samjhane wala kaha milega..
Aaj jaake samajh mein aaya hai..
Aur kya chahiye jis raah mein aap jaisa pyaar karne wala milega..

Kab pyaar kar baithe pata na chala..
Kab dil de baithe pata na chala..
Ap humein kabhi apnaate na apnaate..
Hum kab aapke ho gaye pata na chala..

Ishq mein intzar to karna padta hai..
Khuda ko bhi yaad to karna padta hai..
Aap humari khamoshi ko shayad samajh na sake..
Kabhi kabhi ankahi baat ko bhi samajhna padta hai..

Socha na tha kabhi humein bhi pyaar ho jayega..
Pyar ka itni jald izhaar ho jayega..
Yaad to hamesha hi aate ho tum..
Lekin kya pata tha ek din ki judaai mein bhukhar ho jayega..

Galti thi humari jo anjane mein kuch keh gaye..
Ab is baat ka yun bura na maniye..
Gairo ke liye kaha koi kuch kehta hai..
Apko apna kuc mana zara ye bhi to jaaniye..

Sochte hai har raat..
Kaun si hai woh baat..
Jab ati hai apki yaad..
Ek raat hua ehsas..
Yeh hai kaisa sawal..
Humein to saans bhi aati hai..
To unki yaad ke baad..

Aye chand jyada guroor na kar..
Na soch ki jyada chamakne se raat teri ho gayi..
Kya karega us raat ke bad..
Jab pata chalega teri Chandni meri ho gayi..

Kyo koi itna chahne laga hai ki..
Mera pyar uske pyar ke samne kam lagta hai..
Khule na aankh ed din..
Aur pata chale yeh sapna tha..
Bas is baat ka darr lagta hai..

Pooch baithe wo humse ek din..
Woh na ho to mera kya hoga..
Humne kaha..
Maut to jab aani hai tab hi ayegi..
Jiyenge hum tab tak unki taraf se bhi..
Kyoki seene mein dil to unka hi hoga

A poem i wanted to share with you all....found it in one of my friends album....dnt knw abt the author but really liked his/her way of viewing things....

Love is...

Love is
being happy for the other person
when they are happy
being sad for the other person
when they are sad
being together in good times
and being together in bad times
Love is the source of strength

Love is
being honest with yourself
at all times
being honest with the other person
at all times
telling, listening, respecting the truth
and never pretending
Love is the source of reality

Love is
an understanding that is so complete
that you feel as if you are a part
of the other person
accepting the other person
just the way they are
and not trying to change them
to be something else
Love is the source of unity

Love is
the freedom to pursue your own desires
while sharing your experiences
with the other person
the growth of one individual alongside of
and together with the growth
of another individual
Love is the source of success

Love is
the excitement of planning things together
the excitement of doing things together
Love is the source of the future

Love is
the fury of the storm
the calm of the rainbow
Love is the source of passion

Love is
giving and taking in a daily situation
being patient with each
other's needs and desires
Love is the source of sharing

Love is
knowing that the other person
will always be with you regardless
of what happens
missing the other person
when they are away
but remaining near in heart at all times
Love is the source of security

Love is the
source of life

Dear Readers, One more of my good ones...cannot remember when i wrote it though....maybe was too engrossed in trying to live...that havent got time to observe....


Outside it is hot, and the joy of life does unfold
Inside it is becoming extremely cold
Feelings of love have left my heart
This is not all that is tearing me apart

My heart is pained and heavy with despair
As I am now beginning not to care
Without caring I know I will not cope
As time passes, I see that for me there is little hope

Withdrawing deep within myself
Hiding at the back of the shelf
Not wishing to cause heartache or pain
My self worth I must search for, and regain

Without it my life will be of no use
I refuse to live a life of self abuse
For some reason there are people that still care for me
My current condition, I can not let them see

An answer must be within me, I must dig deep
I need strength, I should eat well and sleep
Having a belief in my personal resolve
There is no doubt that I will learn and evolve

Speaking to people day after day
I listen, and hear what they say
Due to their presence, just being there
I will once again, love, hold and care.